Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Straight Dumpin,' Yo

The front that brought snow to Lander this morning finally delivered its frozen payload in Laramie this evening. When I went in to Senior Seminar at 4:30, it was windy and generally crappy out. When I came out of Senior Seminar at 7:30, it was snowing, heavily, with three inches of slushy goodness already on the ground. It seems to be tapering off a little now.

The slushy walk home reminded me of a fun little game we used to play in high school. I'm not sure it ever had a name, but it was the result of that ingenious cruelty that only teenagers seem to possess. The gist went something like:

1. Drive like hell.
2. Swerve into the gutter to soak someone with slush.
3. Drive like hell.

Part of the game's beauty was that conditions had to be perfect, the result of either a freak warmup in the middle of winter or a spring snowstorm. It also had to be sunny, or the gutters got a little treacherous with the ice and all. All of these things had to happen on a schoolday, when the poor suckers were walking home.

From what I remember, we aimed exclusively at the "hoods," those assholes who deserved every last drop of frigid retribution they got. I distinctly remember one guy whose face registered the horror of what was about to happen only when the 8 foot wall of slush was airborne, and far too close to dodge. A cigarette jutted from his fingers as he turned to see who was honking at him, and the look on his face went from low-key cool to wide-eyed panic in two seconds. I think he might have mouthed the words "you fuckers" as he realized what was happening, but I could be making that part up.

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