Sunday, April 24, 2005

Beyond Effed

Way back at the beginning of last semester, one of our fellow RAs started using the euphemism "effed" as a replacement for "fucked." Our staff is a fairly cleancut bunch, and while some of us swear like sailors in the privacy of our own rooms, we do try to maintain a certain level of professionalism at the lobby desk or in any working capacity. So while it's completely okay to say, while working the desk, "I totally effed up that quiz," it's generally a bad idea to say, "I totally fucked up that quiz." Someone even rigged The HR Cell Phone to display the message "You are effed" as its default. And really, nothing could be more appropriate for the HR phone.

That said, I'm compelled to share with the Dearest Readership that the linguistic gloves come off, for some reason, during meals. Some of the most disgusting - and most hilarious - conversations I've ever had in my entire life have taken place in the Washakie dining area. But I digress.

So, I woke up this morning with the intent of knocking out another 6 pages (double spaced) of That Goddamn Linguistics Paper. I had a few texts to review and from which to glean source material, but mostly I thought I could just pull together all of my transcribed notes, throw in a few transition sentences, and essentially have a workable draft. I spent 4 hours at Coe Library getting more notes together and came home with the intent of going to the coffee shop downtown where I could cut and paste paragraphs into the main body while sipping a nice decaffeinated tea. Piece of cake, I thought.

Then, on a whim, I checked the assignment outline the professor gave us at the beginning of the year. To quote, "Use direct quotes sparingly, for example when the original is much clearer and more precise than any paraphrase you can come up with."

I am beyond effed. In fact, at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm fucked.

I still went to the coffeeshop, but it was cold and noisy and there was no way I could concentrate. So I came back to my room where I at least organized what paragraphs I've already written into a logical order, with little blank spaces where very large chunks of lucid, intelligent text should go. Not that I know what that text will say. But I know where it should go.

Yikes.

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