Sunday, November 07, 2004

White Noise

Speaking of authors I dig, one of my favorites is Don DeLillo. I first read White Noise as an undergrad at Illinois in Michael Berube's class. If any of the Dearest Readership are currently enrolled at Penn State University, do everything you can to take a class from Michael Berube. I don't care if you're a mechanical engineering major, just take his friggin' class, okay? And, friend, prepare thyself for book learnin'. Prepare thyself also for hockey insight to rival Don Cherry's.

Anyway, I was thinking about white noise today, and tonight I'm writing a mindless paper with Sunday Night Football droning in the background and the remote is AWOL. It occurs to me that I hate commercials. A lot. Especially when kickass rock 'n roll bands like Led Zeppelin peddle fogey shitboxes like Cadillacs.

Commercials I Hate and Why

TNT (or maybe TBS – I can never keep the two straight) Knows Drama. Their proof is pretentious actors blithering dumbass monologues ripped straight from Inside the Actor's Studio (a show that makes me itch). Allison Janney, the only time we want your insight is when you're C.J. Cregg.

Cadillac & Led Zeppelin. Maybe the guys have a good reason for selling out to Cadillac, although I can't think of one for the life of me.

Cialis – A smooth jazz horn riff. An attractive woman talking about erections. Aw, yeah... time for middle aged men to get it (back) on. Actually, I've long argued that the world would be a nicer place if more people got laid, so anything – ruffies excepted – that helps achieve that end can't be all bad.

Beer commercials – I have this theory that there's an inverse correlation between a beer's taste and the amount of money spent on advertising. For instance, Budweiser and Miller spend more on ads on Sundays than Spain's annual GDP. LaBatts Blue, whose ads are seen less often, is far better than either. And we don't hear a damn thing about the best beer ever.

There are more, I'm sure. I invite the Dearest Readership to submit theirs.


Blogger david said...

paul -

i'm saddened to hear berubé is at penn state now. i took that class with you, and i fully concur. he was just incredible. at the age of 21, i wanted to be him in every way. he'd come in all sloppy jeans and tweed sport coat, eating jimmy john's, hair frazzled, no class plan whatsoever, and launch into these brilliant fucking monologues with spot-on dissection of whatever the hell we were reading. but the cool thing was, he'd get you to engage without making you feel stupid and pedestrian.

and he was in a punk rock band called nasty bake.

and he had a hot ass wife.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Chad said...

Dude, I completely agree with the Oldsmobile/Led Zeppelin annoyance. That particular Led Zeppelin song has to be one of the most overplayed songs in commercials, period. Some other commercials I hate are the cell phone commercials showing how much kids these days need cell phones. WTF??? We didn't turn into douchebags because we didn't have cell phones when we were kids.

4:17 PM  
Blogger mary ann said...

That damned Levitra ad should make the list.

8:16 PM  
Blogger Runemagie said...

Yes. The Led Zep sellout. I weep.

8:21 PM  
Blogger CanadaDave said...

Labatt's Blue is sure advertised a lot up here. Really it's just the Canadian equivalent of Bud and Miller. Cheap Canadian swill.

9:59 PM  

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