Sunday, July 25, 2004

Debaters Suck Ass

The University of Wyoming hosts "camps" every summer, during which large groups of people, usually high schoolers, use the university's sports and educational facilities and stay in the residence halls. The majority of the kids are from small Wyoming towns, but since we're close to the Colorado border we also get a fair number from the Colorado front range. They usually stay for a few days; we put up with sweaty football players or screaming volleyball players for no more than 3 or 4 days at a time. Even the cheerleading camps, who practice their team drills in the cafeteria during lunch or outside my dorm window at 7 in the morning, aren't here long enough to truly annoy anyone.

Then there was the Debate camp. I think technically it was called "Forensics" or something, but no matter what you call it, three facts remain: they were the most obnoxious little assholes of any camp I've seen, they were here for two weeks, and they were lodged on my floor.

In fairness, debaters are precisely the kind of kid I want to have in my class when I teach. They have brains. They're funny. They have no qualms saying what they think. As individuals, they're really great people. As a group staying on the 7th floor of Orr Hall at the University of Wyoming, they were an unholy terror.

I tried not to get too crabby when they blasted rap and played grab-ass at midnight, even on those nights when I had a Spanish exam the next morning. When I did have to bust people, I tried to be civil about it. Overall, I think I confronted debate campers a total of three times.

Even so, the kids on this floor knew exactly who I was and where I lived. My name is on my door, and towards the end of camp they started calling me by name when I'd walk off the elevator... but they said my name like you would on a playground.

Debater: Hey, Paul, how ya doing, Paul.
Paul: Uh. Fine. How are you?
Debater: I'm great, Paul.

Then there was the lobby. Each floor has its own small lobby area by the elevators, and Debate camp used 7th lobby as its meeting place and general staging area. Each lobby contains one or two spartan sofas and a coffeetable or two. Generally, trash gets placed, correctly, in the large trash cans not 20 feet from the sofas.

Debate checked out yesterday morning. 7th lobby now contains the following:

6 spartan sofas
3 coffeetables
2 chairs
1 large trash can, overflowing
4 pizza boxes, on floor
1 bag of apples, mushed and on floor
4 (at least) shattered CD's, on floor
several hundred tiny pieces of trash
several crumpled pieces of paper
cookie (or something) crumbs
silly string remnants
1 cracked fire escape map
5 empty water bottles, on floor

What's worse; what impales my heart with tiny spears, is that the little fuckers also stole some South Park and Grateful Dead stickers from my door. They weren't expensive or anything, and it's a good lesson: don't put anything on your dormroom door you don't want stolen, defaced, or vandalized.

Tonight I'm writing in peace. 7th floor is empty except for me and some custodial folks getting a jump on tomorrow's cleanup.

Thank Christ those little brats are gone.

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